Relationship CounsellingYou may feel unhappy or frustrated with certain aspects of your relationship but can’t seem to alter things no matter how hard you try to communicate.
Relationship counselling can help – whatever your sexual orientation, background, or marital status- whether you come alone or with a partner. Some people need to find a way through specific issues, others may want to improve an ongoing relationship.
Why do couples come for counselling?Often a couple will seek counselling because of a build-up of painful experiences between them that has led to it becoming almost impossible for them to communicate effectively. Discussions about what is difficult between them seems to either degenerate into angry exchanges of blame and judgement or end up in an icy silence. Either way, both people are left feeling hurt, distressed and isolated from each other. Perhaps you are feeling emotionally or physically betrayed, you or your partner has had an affair and are left feeling that there is no hope for your relationship. Counselling can help you to understand why and in acknowledging the part you have played healing can begin.
What can couples hope to gain from counselling?With love comes heartache and this is not as negative as it first seems. If you don’t care for someone deeply disagreements and problems would only be an annoyance. The more someone matters to you the more you will mind when things go wrong. Happiness in a relationship does not depend on harmony, as meeting problems together and in the right way can deepen love. A Couple that learns to tackle differences positively can give strength and flexibility to the relationship.
The key to unlocking almost any relationship problem is good communication. A couple in counselling will learn to listen, talk and even argue with their partner in a healthy way. It means looking at your basic ways of behaving and sometimes breaking lifetime habits of everyday living.
Common habits that get in the way of helpful communication are:
- Not saying what you really mean.
- Making something else the issue.
- Not talking.
- Changing the subject.
- Being a know-all.
- Disguised criticism.
- The way you say it.
When is the right time for counselling?It’s never too early. Often by the time of your first appointment the cracks in the relationship have started to show. Bitterness and resentment may have built up and the fear of being hurt or rejected blocks out any chance of change. There may have been a betrayal of trust, you have just found out that your partner has had an affair. It might feel like the end and separation or divorce seems like the only option.
As a counsellor the words I most hear from couples are "We've tried everything - counselling is our last resort." One thing's for sure: counsellors rarely hear the complaint "It's too early for our relationship!"
How can counselling help?Destructive patterns of relating can be recognised and addressed.
Conflict and communication can be improved.
New relationship skills can be learned.
The impact of change and loss can be examined.
Relationships can be more successful.
Abusive relationships and domestic violence can be acknowledged.
If you are experiencing problems in your relationship and would like the opportunity to untangle the problems and learn new skills along the way please contact me for an assessment. This can take up to 60 minutes and will allow you to decide if counselling is right for you at this time.
How much does couples counselling cost?
The cost for the assessment and following sessions is £65 and each counselling session will last for 50 minutes. Payment can be made via PayPal below.