Anger is an emotion that we all feel at times. It can become a problem if it is too extreme, occurs at inappropriate times, or lasts too long. Anger can be just a simple irritation with something. At the other end it can result in hysterical shouting, screaming and lashing out. Anger can often have a negative impact on our relationships and our work.
Physical feelings are experienced when your body reacts to stress, fear or anxiety. These symptoms are often referred to as "the fight or flight" response. This reaction quickly and helpfully prepares the body for action. It prepares us to either protect or escape from danger. Its function is to provide us with a vital boost of physical and emotional energy just when we need it most.
What Causes Anger Problems?There may be certain situations which are more likely to trigger an angry reaction from you. Being exposed to a particular scenario or environment might put you on high alert. For example some people are much more likely to become angry whilst driving.
Our interpretation and thoughts about a situation can result in an angry outburst. Situations in which we feel feel wronged in some way can be particularly difficult. or perhaps where injustice has been done that we feel is unacceptable. You might find it difficult to sit with and tolerate frustration. This may be due to your social experiences and what you may have come to consider as being normal.
I am offering a 6 week anger management course.During the 6 weeks you will learn the following principles of anger management:
- To understand your anger and become more aware
- What triggers your anger
- How the body and brain acts when you are angry
- Communication skills
- Problem Solving
- Cost-benefit analysis of getting angry
- Strategies for Managing your anger
- Identifying your cycle of anger and making changes
Case study: Ian came to came to counselling as he felt his anger was out of control. His partner had given him an ultimatum. Either he sorted it out or the relationship was over. During the first session it became apparent that his dad had always been angry, losing his temper at the smallest thing. Ian could not recall his parents ever sorting out a problem through talking, it always ended up in an argument. Ian’s dad would sulk for days and he described himself as walking on egg shells.
Ian identified through counselling that he had become like his dad although he had always promised himself that he would be different. We explored his triggers, what made him angry and he came to recognise the signs before he got to the “red mist” stage of anger. He had never noticed the signals in his body such as a tight pressure in his head, racing heart beat and a dry mouth.
He was able to create some space to allow himself to think rationally and communicate how he was feeling . He recognised that he sulked which was a form of passive anger, still punishing his partner days after the argument. Together we identified his cycle of anger and found an exit point which meant he could stay in control. His communication with his partner improved and they were able to resolve their problems in an adult way. He came to recognise that anger is a healthy emotion when used appropriately .
Consequently his relationship with his partner improved and through counselling he became more aware, gaining more insight into the root cause of his anger.
If you are reading this page because anger is affecting your work or relationships and would like to learn ways of controlling it please contact me for further details.
Currently I have limited availability at Henry House, Heene Road on Wednesday and Thursday evenings. Please contact me for further details.In 2008 a Mental Health Organisation study, suggested that people are getting angrier – 32% reported having a close friend or family member who has trouble controlling their anger; 28% of people were sometimes worried about how angry they felt, and 20% had ended relationships with people as a result of their behaviour when angry. 84% of people thought that those who have anger issues should seek help.